“Yes, but can we wait a few months? I’m about to start this new [health/fitness/diet] that I’m really excited about.” I ran into a friend the other night. This was her reply when I told her I haven’t forgotten. That she has a date with my camera. That it’s overdue.
How often do we ALL do this? We say ‘Yes, but….’ Last year, while our husbands were in a conference together, I went to a boudoir photographer because I wanted the experience of being on that side of the camera. She came along with me and it was so much fun having her there in the background, making me giggle. Here’s the thing. I went because I wanted fresh perspective. I went because I wanted to embrace who I was. Right then. To say with confidence and action that I am good enough. Right now. As I am.
~ Snapshot from that Boudoir session ~
To quote my Taking Time To Feel Gloriously Wonderfully Beautifully Confident post from 2013:
Many days I feel frumpy and tired and like I’m slipping into geezerhood. Where is the beautiful, confident, optimistic woman I seem to remember being?
To counteract that little feeling of inadequacy, I started a personal project of self-love. A few years ago I started taking self portraits to remind myself of what I love about who I am. Little blocks of time where I try and capture images of the woman I want to be. And the funny thing is, through the process, I realize that I am that beautiful strong woman. I just forget.
Those boudoir photos were not for my husband. They were a gift from me, to me. An affirmation of choice. I wanted to see myself through someone else’s eyes. To practice what I believe. I won’t post them here, but I’m happy to show them to any of my girlfriends who are curious. In the year since then, I’ve gone through a transformation that started with looking myself squarely in the the eye and saying “I love you. You are enough. It is ok to chose happiness.”
I believe in self love. In the beauty of self confidence. In the light that shines out of all of us, if we let it. But occasionally, we forget. We get caught up in our own perceived flaws. That’s what I love about being a photographer. Finding that light in someone else. Catching that shining moment and then showing them who they are if they look through my eyes.
So my darling friend, its time for you to say yes. Because you are beautiful and I love you. Right now. Exactly as you are.
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Let your light shine. I will see it and celebrate with you :)
Here is my latest self portrait:
