Choice. This is a big one. I think its one of the most powerful ways of showing self-love.
Talking the time to ask yourself what do you want. Really want. Are the choices you made today reflective of who you are? What you want? Are you moving forward, or at least laterally….? Are you standing up for yourself? Choosing the path you want instead of letting “life” and the opinions of others choose for you?
Very early in life I knew that I wanted something different. I valued my time more than money. Flexibility more than security. Experiences over things. I loved to travel. I also had some health hurdles that can make a 9-5 work day hard. The standard life path of school, secure job, starter house, promotion, bigger house, etc wasn’t going to easily fit into those life goals.
I had a conversation with my mother the other day that was really affirming. She said to me “I’m so proud of you and the life you have created.” I felt a shock of surprise. I always though you were kind of disappointed. “I admit, I didn’t understand at first. I think it’s because you are so intelligent and you could have done anything you wanted. But the thing I want most for each and every one of my children is for them to be happy. You knew what you wanted and you went out and created THAT life for yourself. You found a way to live on your own terms.” I felt a sense of wonder and gratitude, to know that she understood having a different definition of a successful life and choices/strength/force-of-will it takes to go against the grain and create it. To be true to yourself. To CHOOSE what you want instead of accepting the default.
People too often forget that it is
Your Own Choice
how you want to spend the rest of your life.
– Rachel Wolchin –
I can’t tell you how many people have said that they envy the flexibility and simplicity I have built into my life. And an equal number who feel threatened by it and love to give me reasons why I shouldn’t do ‘X’ and excuses about why they could never do XYZ either. And they are right. If you don’t actively choose it, you probably can’t have it. You have to make conscious choices to create the life you want. The one that is uniquely you.
We have the choice every day…. To make decisions that honor our authentic self. That move us toward the life we wish we had. To do the things that make us happy, even if its wild and different and quirky and scary.
You don’t need anyone’s permission… but I’m going to give it to you anyway. You only have one life. Go out and create the life you want. Choice is a powerful thing.
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About the Real Valentines Series:
In theory, a day all about love and sharing love sounds great. I know that many of you love to celebrate love. And so do I. But….. In practice, it often doesn’t quite feel authentic to me.
Be The Change
I want a holiday revamp. To take back Valentine’s Day from the merchants selling random last minute smatterings of chocolates/red roses/miniature bears holding hearts. I want to make it inclusive and not the sole domain of romantic love. More…