My friend Suzanne is a girl after my own heart. She can clean up with the best of them, girly and stunning. But most of the time, she is her own authentic self…. A dedicated farmer, embracing all of the beautiful mess that comes along with that. Wearing whatever best serves the task at hand. With confidence and nonchalance.
It wasn’t until my thirties that I accepted the idea that I am a girl and I can look like one. For a long time, I straight up rejected it all. The makeup. The high heels. Uncomfortable fashion. Flowers, frills and pink. I was mad and confused. I didn’t like that those things were supposed to make me pretty. To make me acceptable. I felt alienated because I didn’t want any of those things.
I’m not beautiful like you,
I’m Beautiful Like ME
One afternoon in high school, my mom called up the stairs. My it’s-complicated-sort-of boyfriend had unexpectedly dropped by. Surprised, I wander outside without a thought to my hair or clothes. Its not until I come back in that my mom says casually and possibly with begrudging respect, “So, I’m surprised you just went out there like that.” Its only then that I look down and notice I’m wearing an ancient (yummy soft) camo tshirt and a pair of yellow pajama bottoms with pink polkadots that my mom bought me when it was 11.
Here’s the thing. It didn’t cross my mind for one second that I am any less of anything because of what I was wearing. Because my inherant confidence and sense of self worth has nothing to do with my outside appearance.
On those days when I feel frustrated. Like I don’t measure up to what I’m told it means to be a woman…. I let that strong woman inside of me rise up. The one who doesn’t measure herself by her clothes/hair/makeup, because she knows who she is. The one who says “I am enough.” I’m going to quote the lyrics from Joydrop’s Beautiful: I’m not beautiful like you, I’M BEAUTIFUL LIKE ME!
So go find your beautiful. And here’s a hint. You are truly beautiful when you feel beautiful. It doesn’t come from the outside. It shines out from the inside. Believe in yourself. Because confidence… Confidence is beautiful.
About the Real Valentines Series:
In theory, a day all about love and sharing love sounds great. I know that many of you love to celebrate love. And so do I. But….. In practice, it often doesn’t quite feel authentic to me.
Be The Change
I want a holiday revamp. To take back Valentine’s Day from the merchants selling random last minute smatterings of chocolates/red roses/miniature bears holding hearts. I want to make it inclusive and not the sole domain of romantic love. More…